The moment your spouse asks for a divorce is one you will never forget. If things haven’t been working well for some time, you may feel a sense of relief. Or, you may feel surprised, and therefore, deeply angry and depressed. Some people experience these seemingly conflicting emotions—relief, anger, and sadness—at once.
Depending on your temperament, you might be ready and willing to fight your soon-to-be-ex for every cent. You might not care if you remain friends or treat each other well.
However, for many people, an ex-partner is someone you will continue to interact with after the divorce. You’ll see them at the grocery store, at your kids’ soccer games, and at major family outings, like weddings and college graduations. Therefore, it’s necessary to make your legal uncoupling as peaceful as possible. Below, we’ve provided three tips to help you keep your divorce amicable.
- Decide Not to Place Blame for the Divorce
Couples have a myriad of reasons for getting divorced. Rarely, if ever, is it solely one party’s fault. Despite this reality, the divorcing couple’s emotions often flare up, and fingers get pointed. They bring up events from the past and relive old, negative emotions. They place blame, and, in doing so, fail to recognize their own part in how the marriage turned out.
Now, instead of having calm, civil discussions about their upcoming divorce, one (or both) parties are trying to make things more difficult than they need to be.
You can choose to avoid this by consciously deciding not to blame your partner for the divorce and kindly asking your partner to do the same. If your soon-to-be ex-spouse disagrees, you will need to hold firm about not blaming and stay diplomatic in your exchanges with him or her.
- See a Therapist or Another Mental Health Professional to Learn Coping Techniques
As we’ve mentioned above, divorces stir up a lot of emotions. They can be truly life-changing, even traumatic, experiences. As this process begins, you may feel like you’re in mourning. You also may experience a distracting amount of resentment.
Don’t allow these powerful emotions to unsettle you. Be proactive, and find a therapist or another mental health professional that specializes in helping people through divorces. Mental health professionals can teach you critical coping techniques that will help you sort through and let go of your emotions surrounding the divorce.
- Let an Experienced Divorce Lawyer Handle the Division of Assets
We’ve all heard this story before. A friend of a friend tried to handle their divorce without a lawyer. They tried to negotiate with their ex, and the former couple couldn’t agree on the division of assets. They wanted to maintain a good relationship with one another, and they chose to use a professional mediator. Still, they couldn’t agree on who should get what. By the time they realized mediation wasn’t working, these once-amicable ex-spouses were no longer treating each other kindly or respectfully.
Avoid this situation by hiring an experienced attorney to negotiate on your behalf. It’s a divorce lawyer’s job to achieve the best possible settlement for the client and to understand the divorce laws in your state. The Madison Law Firm team knows the ins and outs of divorce in Washington State. A divorce attorney also looks at your divorce objectively and counsels you about what you can expect. He or she can handle negotiations calmly when things get heated.
If you’ve filed for divorce recently, you may be experiencing some of the challenges we’ve discussed. Review our well-researched list of tips on keeping your divorce proceedings amicable, and prevent your relationship with your ex from unraveling into anger and blame. It’s important, during these challenging times, to have a reliable lawyer to walk you through your divorce. To meet with an experienced divorce lawyer, contact Madison Law Firm in Olympia, WA, today.